Tag Archives: Facebook

Useless Status Update Thursday

I almost didn’t write this because I’d rather see a useless Facebook status update from someone I like than no update at all. And I am certainly guilty of posting useless updates from time to time (all the time). But griping about useless status updates is a hobby of mine. I can’t resist writing about them on Useless Adjective Thursday.

8 Useless Updates, in no particular order

Darlene… is waiting on Tim : I wonder if “waiting on” is even legitimate grammar. She doesn’t mean she’s a waitress and she’s serving dinner to Tim. She means she’s sitting in her car waiting FOR Tim. Also, this is possibly the most boring status update ever, because she’s bored, which makes us bored.

Billy Bob… is glad it’s Friday! (see also: thank God it’s Friday, I’m so glad it’s Friday, it is finally Friday, only one more day until Friday, and only two more days until Friday) : While TGIF status updates are not useless in and of themselves, they are overused — grossly — and therefore their meaning is diluted, rendering them useless.

Jeannie… has a case of the Mondays! (see also: I wish it were Friday, I can’t believe it’s already Monday, I hate Mondays, and why can’t it be Friday?) : Diluted. See above.

Lisa… Wow! It is a beautiful day! : Weather-related status updates are not necessarily useless. But “beautiful” weather could be anything. Give me a visual, people. I like picturing my various friends in various locations enjoying various climates. But one man’s beautiful is another man’s… not beautiful. Throw us a bone.

Jim… is tired (see also: exhausted, sleepy, and needs a nap) : Boring.

Any and every update with “AI” (American Idol) in the text.

Sara… needs coffee (see also: is drinking coffee, loves coffee, wants more coffee, can’t wait to have coffee, mmm coffee)  Alert: writing about coffee and your need for it is overused and flirts with useless.

Any and every update with Yum! appended to it. : Unnecessary. I assume your food is “Yummy!” or you wouldn’t be bothering to update your status with a description of it.

Juno… is relaxed (see also: is relaxing, is chillin’, and my least favorite: is chillaxin’) : I need more (and eliminate chillaxin’ altogether, please). Are you relaxing while watching Rescue Me with a glass of wine? Are you relaxing while sitting on your back porch shooting rats as they run along your fence? Give me something I can sink my teeth into here.


“What Color Are You?” — Alert: I don’t care

Good news, everyone: now you can hide applications in your Facebook news feed.

I wrote about hiding friends from your Facebook feed. The missing piece was (among other things) being able to hide applications. If you have a lot of friends with time on their hands, your feed is probably full of Marshmallow Peeps, quizzes about the 5 beers/books/movies/bands your friends most enjoy, and hilarious anecdotes about the ideal porn names of people you haven’t seen since kindergarten.

Among the applications that no longer appear in my feed:

  • What Color are You?
  • Hug Me
  • What Color Represents You? (Apparently this is a different quiz than What Color are You.)
  • What Muppet are You?
  • How Good are You in Bed? (That’s really an application and someone on my list actually used it. And he’s a family member. But luckily, not by blood.)
  • Who Would be Your Celebrity Boyfriend?

To hide applications, click the Hide drop-down menu to the right of the offending app, just as you would to hide a friend, and select Hide [Name of App]. The Hide menu still allows  you to hide friends.

Bring on the Marshmallow Peeps! I can handle it.

Quick and Dirty Facebook Filtering Tips

Anjali linked to my post about loving the new Facebook and I wanted to follow up with super-brief instructions for filtering your incoming and outgoing news feed.

Filter Outgoing News

Subtitle: Hide Status Updates from Your Boss/Ex/Grandma/Weirdos

  1. Create friend lists.
    Using the Facebook Help topic What are Friend Lists?, create one or more lists. For example, I have categorized my friends into Hometown, College,  Local, and Family. If you want to keep things simple, you only need to create one list: an “exclude” group into which you’ll put everyone who should have the least access to your private information. On my exclude list, called Updates, I placed anyone I don’t know in real life or people with whom I’m not close friends.
  2. Edit your privacy settings.
    Go to Settings > Privacy Settings > Profile and select Only Friends for each item, as shown in the screen shot, then enter the name of your “exclude” group in the Except These People text box. Click Okay, then click Save Changes.Privacy Settings

You can test your new privacy settings by entering the name of a person from your exclude group in the See how a friend sees your profile text box at the top of the page.

Filter Incoming News

Subtitle: Hide the Status Updates of Annoying People.

The other side to this coin is hiding unwanted information that trickles in on your Facebook home page. If you have created Friend Lists, they will appear in the left sidebar on the new Facebook layout. You can click a Friend List to see only the status updates of that group. BUT this is not the best way to filter your view permanently.

See that status update from Irritating Person A? Hover over the update with your mouse until a gray X appears to the right of the item. Click the X to hide that person’s info from your news feed.Hide

If you want to see the person’s updates later, when they are less annoying, you can scroll to the bottom of the page and select See Hidden Friends. From there, you can re-add the person to your news feed. (That’s my brother, by the way, in the screen shot. And no, I don’t hide his updates. Really! I don’t.)

Useful articles, from which I learned about privacy settings:
10 Privacy Settings Every Facebook User Should Know
Make Sure Your Facebook Profile Doesn’t Lose You a Job

I love the new Facebook

I was tempted to add A BUNCH OF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to the title so it would match the comments I saw on the Facebook guy’s blog post.

People feel strongly about the new Facebook home page – and negatively. Maybe the negative people are the only ones commenting so far. But I have to believe that other people must feel as I do: this new Facebook is just what I’ve been waiting for. Specifically, now I can filter people’s posts. Goodbye, annoying lady who updates her status 65 times an hour and then comments on it (when no one else does). Post away!

I had already created “Friend Lists” to filter my outgoing content because I don’t need someone from my elementary school, with whom I haven’t spoken since 1985, knowing where I work or the ages of my children. By the same token, I’m not really interested in the COMMENTS!!! she makes on pictures of people’s cats or the 30,000 marshmallow Peeps she sends to her friends. Not that I have anything against Peeps (virtual or otherwise). With the new Facebook, I just click Hide and I’m free of the clutter.

And you are free to do the same to me, should you not care to read my boring “news” or see what I “throw” at my brother-in-law. Really, I don’t mind.